housekeeping sunday

grocery shopping - done
vacuum bedroom carpet floor - done
wipe all surfaces in bedroom - done
change bedsheets - done
two loads of laundry - done
unpack luggage from SG trip - done
tidy shoe racks - done
clear the piles of clothes on chairs - done
sort out clothes into their respective sections in wardrobe - done
vacuum bathroom floor - done
wash the basin and bath tub - done
wash toilet bowl - done
tidy the toiletries rack - done
prepare dinner - done
wash dishes - done
tidy and clean kitchen food preparation tops - done
clean out fridge of expired foods - done
empty all rubbish bins in house - done

Total time spent on all the above - from 3pm to 9pm - 6 hours
Sense of achievement? Yes. And very therapeutic too.

still as good

After experiencing zero self esteem for many weeks or maybe even months, I realised last Friday that I actually still do look good, thanks to the girlies who convinced me to dress up and put on some paint on the face for a superstar appearance at Zouk. I garnered enough interest from the surrounding male cuties to conclude that hey my market value is still on the very much higher than average side of the scale ok!



I really miss all those crazy girly sessions. This time, I even got reunited and amazingly clicked very well with a long lost Secondary School classmate of two years. It's not so much the clubbing or the drinking, but the embarrassingly insane things we do together regardless of how others around us may judge us, and the absolutely bitchy things we talk about regardless of how karma will treat us afterwards. I'm already dreading the day I have to leave all these again.



Btw, I really love those white Ray Bans. Anyone wants to buy me a pair? First we need to find out where to find them as apparently they are damn rare.

my ghosts are telling me...

Sometime last week, I plurked about having a disturbing dream of ghosts hovering around me at my workstation. Flyaway tried to decipher the meaning of the dream by researching online.

"Ghosts are representative of something that is no longer obtainable or within reach. It indicates that you are feeling disconnected from life and society. Alternatively, the dream may be a calling for you to move on and abandon your outdated modes of thinking and behavior."

The above is so true in more ways than one. I am deeply saddened by the unexpected discovery of something. So affected was I that I couldn't eat nor sleep. I am locking myself up in my own depressing world and punishing my poor innocent self. I try and I try and I try. But I just can't snap out of this self abuse. I have a problem and I am not doing anything to solve it despite continued naggings from people who care enough to flood my phone/email/msn with messages (I thank you). Maybe I will look back to this entry decades later and laugh at my own foolishness for putting myself through all the misery, but for now it really means the world to me for me to persist on. In saying that, I think I will have to start by loving myself first. People have no idea how tough that is for me. I must have been born with some form of deficiency in some self loving hormones or something.

I have always provided the motivation and encouragement for Flyaway to live life to the fullest. I tell her things that everyone else is trying to drill into me right now! And yet I go on and on now in the complete opposite direction. I am really sorry for being such a bad teacher by not practising what I preach. But I have not given up on life, on trying to be happy, and I hope you don't too.